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Friday, October 1st, 2010
12:36 pm - My other Blog
About two years ago, I started a second blog. Didn't mention it here, mostly because I never used it. The intention was always that this would remain my social blog, and the other one would be only for projects (or essays).

However, I've now made a post I would apreciate some comments on, so I thought maybe I should point anyone who does (still) read this blog over to the other one. See what happens.

So, it's here: http://kalevtait.blogspot.com/


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Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
9:44 am
An unforseen consequence of the three laws

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2:29 am - Back from Ibiza
So I'm just back from a holiday to Ibiza. I took a ton of pictures while there, and I plan to upload and link to some soon. I've been living in Europe for two years now, and this is the first trip that I've made outside of England. Shame on me.

The holiday was good, though I got rahter burned. While there I became inspired to do many things. On returning, I've once again discovered that doing things actually takes work, so I've not.

I read 'Time Travelers Wife' over the holidays, which I've been avoiding for a while, but now that I've read it I would highly recomend it. I found the ending a bit week... I guess I just found that as a whole the book took a really cool core concept, developed it nicely and then didn't do much of anything with this really well developed cool idea.

Just before leaving, I finished the new Tomb Raider, which was fun (though the ending was week). I borrowed it from a friend to play on my new XBox 360, which I got for free. Yes, one of the perks of having my company bought by Microsoft. I'm still trying to figure out if this makes me a sell out.

And I think my major reading for this comming week will be 'From Hell' as I slowly work my way through Alan Moore.

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Sunday, January 9th, 2005
2:50 pm
Our society tells us that people who talk to themselves are crazy.
And that people who imagine what they would say to someone at some possible future time as normal.
That's just weird.

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Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
5:42 pm
Well, its been a little over 6 months since my last update. Which is prety consistant. Also, to stay consistant, this update will be both brief and uninfomative.

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Friday, May 21st, 2004
9:09 am - England is different
Not as different as Mexico. But still.
They drive on the left here. You all knew that. What you didn't know is what this means.
When your walking down the street and you pass someone going the other way, you pass them on the left as well.
When you are sitting on the toliet, and you go to flush it behind you, you use your left hand, not your right. I never even knew that all toilets in Canada had the flusher on the same side.

Oh, also, you know how they tell you to learn to look right first and then left. I've learnt that the translation is not as simple as going from Look Right, Step Out, Look Left to Step Out, Look Left, Look Right.

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Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
4:16 pm - Oh, and by the way
I leave for England in an hour, possibly never to return.

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4:09 pm - Care to explain, Jen?
I want to investigate the way that I perceive linearity in freon plots. There is a timelin that, though linear, shows us multiple developments with different refrigeration points. In doing this, I will gain clarity on how to best design a more efficient design for our newest game, that is to say, our newest product.

When I design a refrigeration based unit for the game I am simulating for the purposes of developing this essay, and for the real product, to help those characters who are working on changing the methods by which they advance our study of the direction of refrigeration in their future.

The changing possiblities of the different refrigeration points in the future of the simulation, at least as far as characters working on the issue of whether or not they are reasonable, or instead taking, or being, one possibility of many, either mehtod will make progression in the story, or level, but will make for progression also in the way we choose which new technologies for use in our study, and implementation of, we will choose.

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Thursday, April 15th, 2004
4:23 pm
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"However, North and South diverged in their application of this technology."

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Thursday, October 9th, 2003
9:10 am - Back from Mexico
Time to catch up on my e-mail. Will say more about Mexico later.


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Thursday, September 11th, 2003
8:20 pm
Tuesday I got a book (the Vor Game, for those following such things).
So, of course, Wednessday was a total write off.
And then, since I was already in the habit of not doing work while at work, I didn't get much done today eaither.

So I'm letting go to my suicidal tendancies by buying choclate bars I can't afford and not brushing my teeth.

Or maybe I just miss Consuelo.

Speaking of which, I'm going down to Mexico next week (next week!!!) for 20 days (thats almolst 3 weeks!!), and so I'm blubering with anticipation.

I'm trying to decide what to do with myself next year. I'm considering going to UBC getting a degree in CompSci since registering for University is easier than looking for a job. But I want to make games, god damn it, and University isn't the fastest way to that goal.
So, I don't know.

Oh, btw, hi Jen.

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Sunday, September 7th, 2003
10:02 am
Too much to drink. Too much money spent on drink. And then I went out for too much coffee (another astringent). So I was up all night. But through talking to my gamming group I discovered that they really do think I am a good GM. That it was one of my games that they think was the best game they have ever played in. And I believed them. So now I have the confidence that I am a good GM, and I know I could be better, but I have no doubt that I have worth as a GM.
There is no dreaming to distraction about this. I have veritable proof. This is not me saying, I could be good if I ever did it, its someone else saying, 'Hey, look, this is somthing you have allready done, and, by damn, it didn't suck'. And I'm not saying that hasn't happened with other things, because I'm sure it has, but this time I listened and experienced that most wonderous thing: TRUST.

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Saturday, September 6th, 2003
5:18 pm - The fun of http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/
I discovered this zartheit small in the newspaper of the phase of a
friend. A test decided dargli. It is not in detail the revolutionary
text, but they are sure that it is straight-line complete beyond
grippaggio similar.

(Before Tranlsation: I discovered this little tidbit in a friend's Live Journal. I decided to give it a try. This isn't particularly revolutionary text, but I'm sure it will be entirely beyond comprehension just the same.)

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Friday, September 5th, 2003
5:44 pm
Last few days of work have been pretty unproductive, and my evenings have been spent re-reading Assasins Quest. (If you haven't read any of Robin Hobb, stop reading this now and go out and get Assasins Aprentice and read it. Now!) All in all, I feel like I'm neaither doing what I want to be doing (making games) or what I should be doing (not sure exactly, which is part of the problem), which makes me feel like crap.
Unlike others, I don't get so much mad when stuff goes wrong with me, but just disgusted. So I ignore that and browse the web, or play games or sleep. But I want to be updating my LJ more often, so instead I'm writing. (BTW, if you're still reading, and you haven't yet read Assasins Aprentice, I meant what I said by 'Now!')

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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
6:31 pm
Last serious post I mentioned what my goals/projects were.

Well, now I'm pretty much concentrated on my 'job'. Unfortunately, its not a game industry job. But at least its tools.
I'm working out at UBC doing the front end for a general purpose physical vocal tract simulation tool. Its amazing how in academia you can be general purpose while being so specific that most people don't really have a clue what your doing.

I'm doing this full time, so that when I go down to Mexico later this month I can continue being paid. When I get back I'll finish logging my missed hours and the switch down to part time again. Unless I get a raise. But its still not game industry. And so I'm thinking I might push my paying work off to the side a bit more so that I can spend more time (and more importantly, concentration) on what I really want to do.

Yeah, so I'm going down to Mexico for three weeks. I'm going down to visit my fiance. Oh, did I mention I was getting married? No?
Okay, well then:

I'm getting maried.

Next March.

Actually, maybe I should reschedual since thats when the GDC is and it would probably be a bad idea to take off to San Jose right after getting married. Consuelo (the other in this whole marrige thing) would probably enjoy going with me, but I still don't think me being highly involved in not paying attention to her is really honey moon material.

Before you all demand an invitation, let me say that as a man, I am leaving the organisation of the wedding to my mother, my fiance and her mother (which is why its now in March, rather than in December as I was initally informed... I found out a week after the plan was changed). What this means is that I don't know how many people I'm allowed to invite, so I'm not going to invite anyone untill I know. Sorry.

I'm still finding enthusing myself in getting things done rather than getting distracted by all the small things in my life rather difficult. I feel like I should get this mostly worked out before I dive into the cement filled pool of the game industry and forget how to swim. I'm trying a new strategy of setting my goals impossibly high so that when I fail I am at least still ahead of the game. It works when I convince myself to do it. Mostly.

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Sunday, July 27th, 2003
9:01 pm
I just wanted to be able to say that I have updated my journal this year.

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Monday, November 11th, 2002
10:24 am - I've come back.
Just talked with Ash, and his suggestion of keeping journal about cool things I do with my projects, certainly jives with me. So I will do so.
Quick explanation of my current projects:

I am making a level editor for the game X2.
If you want to get involved, check out the X2 dev page.

Chronicles of Cythera:
I am the lead programmer for an action platformer mod of UT2003. No website yet, the entire dev team is working solidly to try and get the game up and running.

A simple Midi Sequencer:
A final project for a game audio course. Doing more than what is required... but I always did want to try to do this. Currently just an African drumming circle simulator.

Get a Job:
This would be cool. It is also self explanatory. Note: must be a game programing job, preferably a tools programmer.

Recent developments:
As I said, the music app has become an African drumming circle simulation.

With X2Ed, I'm doing a complete overhaul, and making the editor into multiple sub windows. This is almolst done... though I've lost some of the previous functionality (namely the simple Undo I had) in the process.

With CoC, I've been pulling out my hair with trying to get animations working for the movement. But I just got a reply to my email to Steve Polge at Epic... and it looks like I might be able to figure this out after all!!! Yay! Happy with elation!


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Saturday, April 20th, 2002
11:16 pm
My tears slide over my ripled skin. They do not catch in any cracks. The desert of my body recieves no nurishment from these salty droplets. Still, they do not fall.
A constant ache between my shoulders lets me know that I've been carrying the weight of the world behind me again. I refuse to put it in front of me and let 'them' see all of me. Allways bent over. Curled into a ball. Hiding from my fears, but they allways sneak up behind me.
A hug. That is all I want. I think.
I think. I think. I think and think. And the thinking corrects me. Tells me how to (and not to) behave. It is a usefull tool. But I have made it me and in doing so made me a tool. But who holds the handle. I am self serving in my desire to continue thinking. I say I do not know what power hungry means? To want somthing for no point other than wanting it. But I think that I want to keep thinking so that I can... think?

Who is it that I want to be?
Who do I want to be it with?
Is mine a lonely journey off into the wilds of my brain? Or do a shuck the overused skein of knowledge that has yet to transport me outside myself and into anothers arms? Where would I find myself then? I am to scared to find out. I think.

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Friday, April 5th, 2002
11:02 pm - Dream; Friday evening
Wow, been awhile since I've been here.
Stoped comming when I realised I wasn't writing much of anything interestng.

You may have noticed I'm back.
A few days ago I decided to start recording my dreams and so have been carying a small dream journal with me everywhere I go. Of course, as soon as I forget it is when I actually remember a dream. Then I remembered LJ. This is the sort of thing that (I think) LJ was made for.
So here goes.

I was working on a farm. Of sorts. My manager (the owner of the farm) was a hardworking domineering sort of guy. I think we had to defend the farm against raiders. But I don't really remember that part of the dream. I remember that there was fire truck. (or maybe it was a tractor, but it was deffinetly big and red), and he was showing me how to park it, just so, because it was a collectors item (I think because it was part train). It was beeing parked in what was effectively a hanger, behind some other train like thing. The hanger was mostly empty, except over on the left (when facing the direction one enters from) quarter (which had the two trucks/trains in it). There were a few other buildings on the farm. The climate was similar to that of the gulf islands, at least when they're sunny. One of the fairly flat ones.
Anyhow, late one afternoon, while the owner was off in town (which was in hills towards the south), getting eggs or somthing, I saw a tank pull in through the main gate (also towards the south, though gate is really a bit of a missnomer... it was more of a toll booth, as there were no walls) and the owners assistant was off fighting it with one of the only fighting vehicles on the farm (I don't remember if we had more, or if maybe I just didn't know where they were, how to operate them, or if they were to far away) and I really wanted to help him because I didn't think he was any match for the tank. Then I remembered the fire truck, and broke off toward it at a run. Along the way I realised I really didn't know what I would do with a fire truck against a tank, but then I figured that I could probably ram it and distract it long enough for the assistant to get in a good shot.
Once I got the tank out of the hanger (which was in the south west of the farm complex, with the main of the complex including a whole bunch of buildings including a house, an administration building, and I'm not sure what else, and the gate being a fair ways further to the south) and started heading over to the gate I saw that there was no tank, and I had misstaken some sort of utility vehicle (mail truck or somthing) from the town as a tank, and that there really was no danger.
I felt stupid as I put the fire truck (train) back in the hanger, and realised that the manager was going to be upset with me for taking it out, since he had specifically told me not to touch it. Just as I was almolst finished parking it (just perfect along the tracks that were in the hangar), the manager walked in, and I knew he was going to fire me that night (though he wasn't angry or anything, he just had one of those, 'this isn't going to work out' looks on his face). He let me finish putting away the truck, and then made some small talk before asking me what I was doing with the truck. I started to explain, but he wasn't really listening, and as I was finishing up he interupted (not terribly rudely) with that he thought that this would be a good time to let me know that he was going to let me go, and he handed me a slip of paper (from his right pants pocket), which was esentially a receipt that let me know that my job was over. I took it but loudly complained that it wasn't really my fault that I took the truck out because I was trying to save the farm, and anyone could have mistook the postal truck for a tank, as I'd never seen it before, but I new it was a lost battle and wound down. I was really upset, not so much because I'd lost my job (I wasn't really sure if I still wanted it anyways), but because he hadn't listened to me.
I told him that I knew he was going to fire me anyways, and he responeded that he was planing on sitting down with me (I assumed in the living room) and talking with me for a while before deciding.

The dream went on a little further past then, but I'm tired of writing it down... so I'm going to stop.

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Sunday, March 17th, 2002
6:03 am - Webpage is go!

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